‘Oh, my God!’ screamed Estelle. ‘I am sure that this is the most televisual book I have ever read.’
‘Well,’ Ignatius J. Reilly said, three stolen hot dogs in hand, ‘I am sure that I am simultaneously the most vivid and incorrigible character you will ever come across in all of American literature. Indeed, I have been decorated for it.’
‘I have often wanted to slap you across the face, Ignatius. You are psychotic in the extreme.’
Ignatius sighed. The earflaps of his hat were folded up to facilitate his hearing. He arose from his chair, which would not depart from his elephantine body. It took an effort with both his hands to ease it from his frame. The seat looked rather different in shape when he set it down.
‘Have you read Boethius?’ Ignatius belched. ‘I am a staunch believer in Boethius. I cannot abide these new philosophers, the ignorance of whom astounds me. When I perceive the bookstore arrangements of those abortions they call books, the filth they impart to the masses, I feel sick. In fact, my valve is giving me considerable trouble now.’
Estelle paused. ‘What’s a valve?’
‘You are a maniac!’ Ignatius screamed, his voice choked with saliva and fury. ‘Get away from me! You little understand the respect due a personage of my immense intelligence, height and breadth! I would not be surprised if you were not even a human being; a phony whose molecules rejoice at the thoughts of other incompetents! I am certain that you revere film stars, those carriers of mange! You enemy of Pragmatism and Morality! False proponent of American ‘art’! Cataclysmic affront to Hroswitha’s wisdom! That Fortuna should let me spin so low as this!’
‘Oo-wee. I think I got siphlus from dat man,’ said Jones, who was sweeping the floor.
thuylinhnguyen | 28th Sep 09 | 1:30 pm |
Lol. Another creative review.
Jess | 28th Sep 09 | 1:41 pm |
Haha, absolutely spot on.
Sam | 28th Sep 09 | 4:32 pm |
I recently gave this book to my stern icelandic friend to read.
Jim Remy | 28th Sep 09 | 7:04 pm |
hehe, the valve… I would like to read a review like this of a book i haven't read… or maybe you've already written afew and I just didn't notice? radio review of sum was good too. i agree that 'lovely' is a somewhat better word than 'cute'.
estelle | 29th Sep 09 | 12:08 am |
TL: I saw a play last night that I thought you would really like: http://www.melbournefringe.com.au/fringe-festival/show/attract-repel-by-the-melbourne-town-players
Jess: I had a spot of reading envy when I checked out your blog. Can't wait to see what you think about February House.
Sam: Aren't I your stern Icelandic friend?
Jim: I've only done three reviews like this. If you click on the 'in the style of' tag at the bottom of the post, you can find out what the other one was.
I did think Sum was cute a lot of times. Almost too cutesy. I still enjoyed it, though.
thuylinhnguyen | 29th Sep 09 | 12:16 pm |
Oh nos, I am booked out for the whole Fringe season.
(Though I suppose I could see it tomorrow night and not pack for TINA and turn up in Newcastle with the clothes on my back and possibly a credit card…?)
Hmmmm.
thuylinhnguyen | 29th Sep 09 | 12:21 pm |
Okay, I've found a day. It's all good now.
*big sigh of relief*
estelle | 29th Sep 09 | 1:34 pm |
TL, good. It's worth seeing. SEe you in Newcastle!