Today, it was announced that Tony and Maureen Wheeler have made a large endowment to the Centre for Books, Writing and Ideas, which is now called the Wheeler Centre in honour of that fact. So, they didn’t take up my ‘RAD BOOKTOWN’ name idea, then. Pity. I did get tingles from being in the same room as Melbourne’s publishing power couple, though. (Apparently they met each other on a park bench in London and got married within the year. So don’t give that dude in the park the brush-off, y’all.)

Anyway, after the concise and rousing speeches, this:

Witness that fitness, people. (Lady in the red jacket is like: Back off of my food, ladies.) The standard for literary event catering has definitely been set (cabana and Coon cheddar coming in a close second). And I couldn’t behave myself. I think it was pretty obvious that Maddie and I were there as representatives of community radio and, what do you call it, ‘blogs’. We did the ol’ shuffle-over to the food table but didn’t want to be the first people to take anything. We whispered endlessly to each other: ‘I think maybe Jason Steger is going to take a blini. Why isn’t Sophie Cunningham hungry? I’m pretty sure Lynne Kosky will need some fuel after that rousing speech,’ etc. Luckily someone in a suit broke the code and we happily indulged in the very fine foodstuffs until:

…there was very little left. Nobody puts cubes of fish rich in intramuscular fat on miniature pancakes with micro-cress, ikura and cream cheese without expecting me to take at least five of said food item. Behind are crunchy noodle haystacks with peeled cherry tomato halves, people. Somebody peeled cherry tomatoes so that I wouldn’t have to suffer the tannins of tomato skin (nor the nutrients — zing!) Good job, whoever catered the launch.

More seriously, or at least more literarily, the Gala Night is going to be kind of ridiculous. If you like anyone who writes things (Chloe Hooper? Paul Kelly? Cate Kennedy? Christos Tsiolkas? Alex Miller? John Marsden? John Safran? and I’m going to stop there, because the rhetorical value of my question marks will diminish if I just list everyone who’s going to be there. But you get the idea) then you will widdle in your pants for this event. Just saying. The rest of the program’s not much chop though. Some guy called Peter Singer is doing a talk on the lawn, and some woman called Ramona Koval is hosting a monthly event. Huh.